She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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