Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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