We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
