I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
