The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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