You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
