he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
