Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I could make wine with my vomit
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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