And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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