all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
