I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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