Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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