just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize