Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
