i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
