we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize