Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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