just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wish i was in the wii world.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
