Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
