I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
