All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
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I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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