He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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