I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
