Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
