My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize