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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
