okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
