Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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