What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
