I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
