you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
