exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
