She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
