I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
