clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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