Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
