i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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