people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i believe in u and ur pee
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
