My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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