so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
