Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
