Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
this just has baby written all over it
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
