Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize