Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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