You really coming over, don't trick.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
