Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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