That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
