Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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