Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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