Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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