If i come over, it means nothing
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
