see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize