I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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