he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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