After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
