But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
