no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
