i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3pm strippers are depressing
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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