Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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