Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
