I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
